very hard meme *sigh*

She spent a great deal of time that afternoon in the back room, bent over, transferring paper from its box into the recycling bin. There were handfuls of junk mail, crushed cereal boxes, torn up offers of money from various credit card companies, all destined for a new life as toilet paper or some other useful product. Then in went the newspapers, on top of the crumpled balls of tinfoil and empty can of tomatoes. The cat whining at the door skidded out at the same time she did, recycling bin pushing open the broken storm door. The sun outside was bright still and one of the neighbors was running a lawnmower. After dropping the bin by the street with a grunt, she turned to walk back up the driveway to get the trash. And noticed a condom, unfurled in all its faded glory, on the sidewalk.

If your life were to be novelized, starting last night, how would the opening paragraph(s) read? Brand Spanking New Meme. From Chicory, Queen of the New Jobness. I tag you, LB, and you, Chips and you, I.D.A. And that's all. Unless you want to write a novel in the comments, of course.

(As an aside, I am on more prometrium than I have ever been on in my life and, lord, my boobs. Whew. Note we are just ignoring this ttw.)