queer revolution, travel and other weekend goodies

Let's get the business out of the way first - I think my insems were too early. Although I did have ovulation twinges this afternoon, so who the hell knows. Oh, well. While this was Teh Last of Teh Last, it was also the Throw Away Insem, the one that probably wouldn't work. But whatever, I'll take my prometrium like a good girl and we'll see what happens.

Last night, I went out. Woo! Out! The Athens Boys Choir and Katastrophe were playing a free (free!) show just down the road from me and as I love, love, love Katz, I was all over it. It seems they did a Trans 101 workshop (also free!) that afternoon. Yay. I missed it, but yay. Both these kids are cute as buttons and said all the right things and had a gaggle, yes, a gaggle, of little femme girls right up in front of the stage squealing over them (it was kind of like Elvis only these bois are cuter). By said all the right things, I mean that their songs and poems spoke true and clear and funny and sad and all the things you might feel in your life. Katz spoke briefly about the horrifying statistics on hate-crimes against queers in general and trans folks in particular and again, he said all the right things. That is, he didn't say much, he simply named some of the people, some of the kids, who've been killed recently and told us, instructed us, to remember them, to say their names. He had a poem about them, "Queer Revolution," a litany of sorts, with slides - pictures and names, lest we forget. There's not space enough for me to list all the names, nor, sadly, do I even know them all, but you can go here to remember, to have names to speak so that we will not forget them. And then, on a lighter note, he finished up with my all time fave, "Tranny Got Pack." Well, maybe my fave is the Waffle House one..... sooooo hard to decide. (That's a music link, so watch your volume if you're at work or worried about loudness.)

So Katz was great and he's really what drew me to the show, but the bonus prize was Rocco (he introduced himself to me when I bought a CD from him - sqeee! (Lord.)). So um, yeah, I spent the whole show thinking how familiar he looked and how I knew the name Katastrophe from *somewhere*..... and then after I got home and read the liner notes with the CD (10 pages!) I remembered. Michelle Tea's partner. Yeah. I am behind the times. Anyway, he was great. So great that my friend D, who's a nice gayboy, said, as he climbed up next to me on one of the pillars for a better view, "oh my god! I have the hots for a tranny!" We speculated that he'd have to fight off the gaggle of femme girls to get to his new crush. In honor of the show, D wore his Lesbian Clothes - a tie and a zip-up hoodie. Adorable. He looked just like a lesbian. Good job, D.

Nothing like some hot trans men talking about social justice and peace and feminism to make you remember what it's all about. MySpace links here and here. And, yes, I have a little celebrity crush. *sigh* But honest, y'all, they're so good.

Also, I got a new, big girl couch this weekend, thanks to the KP. This meant, among other things, that my roommate and I had to quite literally break the frame of the futon I had been using as a couch so we could get it up stairs so she could use it as a bed. In retrospect, this is funny. Moving furniture sucks. But woo! Big girl couch!

In other news, I booked tickets to go to New York for a smidge during spring break. I was ambivalent about going - I want to see my friends up there really bad, but it's sort of expensive, I'm not sure how to deal with cat care now that one of the cats is deaf and another still has some - ah - bowel issues, and the usual - I kind of love to be at home more than anything. But then I was looking for some old emails I'd written about school and I came across one I'd sent to Z the Ex from back in 2004 when I must have been up there for some Montessori related thing and then I totally wanted to go.

Yesterday I saw a magician. I was on the train, going from Ian's back to
Williamsburg, and I was tired and feeling weird (what's new) and I'd finished
my book so there was nothing to do but sit there. As we were whizzing along under
the river, a magician came clanging in from the next car. He had a little
folding metal stand with big loud metal bells on it and a black case that he
pushed in front of him and a nice black top hat. He was mumbling loudly in
Spanish and so, in spite of my heritage, I understood nothing. He set up shop
right in the middle of the train, swinging the black case up onto the metal
stand and arranging all sorts of implements on it. He tried to get this one guy
to hold his magic wand for him, it was pink lucite, I think, but he refused.
Then all the other people he tried shook their heads, too. It was so sad. But
then this guy sitting across from me agreed to hold the magic wand and tap on
the special magic box and so the show could begin. I got to open the magic drawer
in the special magic box and a small furry animal popped out and I jumped. Then
he did all sorts of other tricks, like making soap bubbles turn into giant
marbles and then popping the marbles or making a girl's purple lacy panties drop
to the floor and then trying to give them to the guy across from me. In
addition to finding the small furry animal (maybe it was a mink?), I got to
hold the magic wand and tap on a small metal dish that was upside-down and then a
dove flew out from under it. Amazing. And then he was done. He collected
some money and packed up his case and rattled on to the next car, all in the space
of 2 stops, before we got to Graham Ave.
I walked home and stopped by the liquor store, feeling much better.

You know you wanted to relive that 10 minutes on the L train with me. So I'll be in New York for a smidge in April. Who's around?

the wagon

There's these folks in central va who have recently started roasting their own coffee, after years of running a coffee shop downtown. It's delicious, and their kids are fucking cute. Long ago, back in the day, my Seattle friend, the girl one, and I used to get coffee from them. So I thought it would be nice to bring a bag of their coffee out here with me. Here being Seattle, specifically the couch in apartment 304. Anyway. I was up with the new baby from a little before 5 on, so the other adults could get some real sleep in, and round about 7 (when it was still dark - wtf?) I scrounged around and found the press-pot and made some coffee. Oh, god - so good. Especially with cookies that some kind person had brought over.

You see, I've "given up" coffee in the name of ttc (don't laugh - it's sort of true). Several years ago, I picked up the Toves and Brill book at Babeland (yes, I bought a book about getting pregnant at a s.ex toy store) and one of the things they talk about is giving up coffee. So I did. It was easy. I'd always loved it, but never really *needed* it to wake up. Morning is great - who needs coffee? Really, giving it up was no big deal at first, but then, I started to miss it. Coffee is good, y'all. So good. I think I'll have another cup...... You, see? Fabulous. So I've been on and off coffee for a while now: I'll drink it pretty regularly when if I'm taking a break, but mostly I have green tea in the mornings (helpful for CM, or so say many of the Alterna-Fertility Sources) and a weekly treat of coffee plus the occasional other cup, say, if some kind soul brings us coffee at work or cho-girl needs an afternoon coffee date. I'd like to tell you that the result of all this is that I am now knocked up. But, no. The real result of all this abstaining is that I love coffee even more. And appreciate it. Absence, even just occasional absence, makes the heart grow fonder. And I am fond of you, dear, dear coffee. So fond of your deliciousness and bitter tastiness and fragrant steam. And yes, I will become one with you the whole fucking time I am in Seattle and it will be great. Great, I tell you.

Another libation I've given up - sort of - is alcohol. We'll say sort of because I only really abstain during the two week wait. Otherwise, I'll live it up. Well, not really, as my tolerance has dropped to the level of a giggling first year sorority girl. *sigh* But, as with coffee, the lack has lead to an even greater appreciation. A more full savoring, you might say. Whiskey - good stuff.

What's so fascinating about all this, if you're fascinated by the less-than intricate workings of my body and psyche, is that it become abundantly clear that I am not a teetotaler. Not in the literal/historic sense, nor in the figurative sense. I'm not really into doing or not doing *anything* religiously. I fascinate myself. Ha.

Also speaking of addiction, I have a real soft spot for my computer, which I am posting on as we speak! Any other posts or electronic communication has gone out by way of my friend's computer, which she is unendingly generous with, but I've missed my machine. One might say I've been going through withdrawal, or one might simply note the joyousness of our current reunion. As you know from previous posts, I've been unable to connect to the wireless network here for unknown reasons, but just now I found an unprotected one. In fact, the mainbody of this post was written 2 days ago. Thank you, oh trusting holder of the network zoom. Thank you.

Off to make some custard.

withdrawl and ratios

I've got a small bone to pick with Apple. Since I upgraded to the new OS, I can't seem to use my friends' secure wireless networks. Even after they give me the password. It's happened here in Seattle and, looking back, I wonder if that was what was going on in Boston. Anyway, I am stealing my friend's computer while she naps. With the baby and her husband. I am jonesing for my machine - I really, really miss the two-finger scroll. Not an Euphemism. I swear.

I've been IM-ing with Sophie, which is always entertaining, as it gives me a different, distanced sense of her. Not seeing her in front of me somehow lets me see her in a new light - she seems older, funnier. Minus the tweener-speak crap - "u" for "you" and that sort of shit. But really, y'all, the kid's a riot:

Sophie: i wrapped ur present 2day!!!

me: you mean, my pony?!

Sophie: uh yeah... (cough cough)

i needed sooo much wrapping papr to wrap it!!!

me: aw - i think i'll name it.....ummmm.....

paco!

paco the pony

is he cute?

say yes!

Sophie: hahaha

yeah totally....

me: thank god - i would give him back if he weren't cute

Sophie: paco the pony... real smart...

I'm always telling her I want a pony when she asks me what I want for my birthday or Christmas. I miss her a bunch. We always do run-of-the-mill holiday things once school ends, like walk downtown to look at the gingerbread houses and bake cookies and go to movies and lay around and read. But I'm not there. Oh, well - after I get home I'll get my fix.

In other, new baby news, things are good - we took Small Fruit Baby to the doctor today and she's gained 8 ounces since birth on Monday. Kid's a rock star. The birth was crazy intense, but things are as smooth as they can be now. Her daddy needs to write down her birthstory, because, god damn, the man can write. Other than the doctor outing, we're doing a lot of nothing - laying around eating, cooking and tidying (2 of my faves!), passing the baby, trying to convince her that day is day and night is night. I am more and more convinced that a ratio of 3:1 is perfect for newborns.

Oh! And? I drove! In a strange city! And did not get lost or scared!

still the smallest town in the world

Is it wrong that I want to go back to my life of Riley in Boston? I am detoxing hard, y'all. It was so great. I got *fed*. People never feed me; I always feed them. R and I were sitting on the couch, reading, on Thursday and there was the smell of onions and olive oil coming from the kitchen and J and the Boston girl made soup. It was so weird and great to smell food and have nothing to do with its production. Okay, so I did cut up the onion, but then I sat on my ass on the couch, aka my bed, and read. R and I looked at each other, wide-eyed with wonder - food! For us! Wow.

In other, fascinating Boston news, I ran into a friend from here in Virginia while I was up there in Massachusetts. Randomly ran into her in a bar (after our amazing hot tub experience). We walked into said bar near the Boston kids' house and stood in the doorway, scoping the scene for a minute, and suddenly, like a flash of joy, my old friend M was standing with her arm around me. She is the original mama of the Cat Not Yet Pictured on Caved (the bad cat, if you must know). I'd emailed her before I went up there, but she was slammed with family and guest dogs and so didn't get back to me until Saturday. I figured I'd missed her, as I already had plans for that night (Teh Hot Tub), but no! There she was in the bar, smiling her same smile. Icing on a cake of a trip.

Here is one of my ever-astute observations from this trip. Folks in Boston don't say "hey" to you the way folks in Virginia do. You know how it is: you're walking down the street and you see somebody coming towards you and so you make eye contact, you nod, or say "hey," or "how're you," or *something*. And you keep walking. But in Boston, no dice. I kept readying myself for the greeting-in-passing, but I never got any eye contact! Folks were nice, but no "hey," no nodding, nothing. Weird, huh?

On the other side of the spectrum, Boston girl and I went to the North End to see the sites and went looking for something to eat. We stopped in front of Dolce Vita and while looking over the menu, a short, fat, cute, clearly Italian old man came out and declaimed the virtues of "his" restaurant. "You vegetarian?" he asked? Well, the Special Antipasto! So good! And for me, the omnivore, well, there's veal, or chicken! Not so much on the quantity, but the quality! So good! We were sold; he was so cute! Once inside, he snapped his fingers and said, "2 here!" to nobody in particular, and toddled off. We didn't see him again.

Do you think I'll be able to write about anything else ever?

*sigh*

Back to the real world.

Here I am chez Starr Hill, lured back to central Virginia by LB's talk of twisted naked tree branches. It *is* nice to be home. But, wow, it sure was hard to leave.

R and J and I left Teh Frozen North around 7 am and I got back here to Starr Hill just before 8 pm. 13 hours, which included a visit to the other DC lesbians. Not bad. Particularly when you take into account that I had to drive from R and J's in Capitol Hill up to Brookland to see said other DC lesbians and then get myself all the way over to 66 to get home. Up and across DC all by my tiny self. And I did not get lost or scared. Ahem. Yay me! Leave congratulations in the comments, please.


Time for some nasty chinese herbs. It's CD 8, kids, CD 8.

just like heaven would be, only more parenthesis and more Capital Letters

It's fucking great here, y'all. Except for the antarctic temperatures, I mean. So great. I might not come home. I am sure the cats can follow my scent up 95 and find me here on the Boston kids' couch (where I've been for the past 12 hours, minus getting up for blueberry pancakes).

In those 12 hours, I've slept; had crazy dreams, including one that foretells the outcome of the coming election (looks bad, y'all, real bad); finished Cavedweller (how the fuck did I forget about Dorothy Allison?); lounged and lounged some more. Now I'm here with the Boston Boy, reading and writing on the couch, aka my bed, while the Boston Girl showers. She says she'll take me to the waterfront and, no, that is not a euphemism, but it should be. The DC girls, R and J, left us for some Alone Time with Somebody Else. (I see your Alone Time, Somebody Else and I raise you 12 hours in the car with R and J tomorrow! I'm the winner!) There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth at their departure. We heart them. We do. I speak for All of Us.

While in the Frozen North here I have:

1. taken public transportation, my bbf
2. talked about anything and everything with folks who are very smart
3. saw J make the funniest face *ever* (EVER) when a squirrel ate out of her hand
   
4. laughed a bunch over stupid shit
5. eaten Indian food
6. formed Teh Wonder Triplets with Boston Girl and R
   
7. had my back scratched twice
8. lounged
   
9. thought about ttc in ways that were not obsessive, nor were they stressful (yay)
10. watched one bad movie and part of a good movie
11. read a very, very good book (see above)
12. lounged again
13. saw fabulous and amazing works in progress and was so proud and impressed to see my friend doing work she loves
14. lounged more

Vacations like this feel like stolen time. Like I'm getting something for nothing. As if I'm existing for a moment in a world that doesn't quite exist.

Serious, y'all. I might not come home. Send some clean socks, underpants and warmer weather with the cats.

You're been wondering how things are here in Boston, aka The Frozen North, haven't you? Well, they are great. Except for the fact that the 70º weather is gone and it really is frozen as well as north now.

So I went to DC on Wednesday, to hook up with R and J (Not like that! Lord, y'all. They are hot though....) and in classic lesbian fashion, they were both at home with their 2.5 cats and the Indigo Girls playing in the background. Okay, actually there were only 2 cats.

Anyway. We drove to stay that night with a friend of theirs outside Philly. There was an amazingly cute cat there (although it was not a House O' Lesbians) who has a problem using his litter box consistently. He also has no claws. Hmmmm...... Please don't de-claw your cats. We got up before 6, much to J's chagrin, so as to miss as much traffic as possible and also so as to spend as much time as possible with the fab Boston kids.

We stopped for coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts just after leaving the house of the cat with no claws and got assaulted by the American Appetite. R and I just got coffee (pre-dawn is way to early for things as sweet as donuts) but J wanted one donut "ball" (should we tell her the common name is donut hole?). The poor woman behind the counter could not even understand this. 5 for $1.99! she kept saying. But I only want one, poor J would explain. Again. And again. Finally she patiently explained that 5 would give her diarrhea, to which the woman behind the counter said again, 5 for $1.99! So she took the 5 (I'll not bore you with the story of what happened at the rest stop a couple hours later). Then the long-suffering woman behind the counter asked, are you two together? and J smacked R's ass in reply. Really, I think the Dunkin' Donuts woman was asking about their donut ball/coffee payment plan, but - hey, what's a little ass smacking at 6 am?

Because no vacation is complete without an educational component, we drove through Valley Forge, looking for bloody footprints left by long dead soldiers in the snow. We were several years too late, plus no snow. The rest of the drive was flawless - pretty and clear, full of good company and naps. We made it to Boston in less than 6 hours. Over the Tappan Zee and north up 95.

And when we got here, there was love all around: food to be made and drinks to be had, books for reading and bad movies for watching, sitting around to be done and back scratching and music and talking and pie. Which I am now having for breakfast.

Mmmmm..... pie.....

I am thankful for pie. And for my friends.

congratulations

I can drive in strange cities and not get lost once. At least, this time I can. Good job, me.
Also, Virginia is the prettiest. Oh, yes it is.

pre-drive randomness

*the directions into DC for the first leg of this trip *look* easy. Cross your fingers. I hate being lost.

*I am not taking old Clear Blue with me to Boston; there's no need to POAS until CD 9 at least and so I think I'm safe leaving her behind. Poor Clear Blue, I like to make her suffer without my company.

*the call to the RE was fruitless. Sort of. The woman who schedules for him was off today, not to return until Monday, so I'll be able to make an appointment. What? I didn't tell you I'm ramping it up a notch? Life's short. Use Western Medicine.

*My donors, who you can't beat with a stick, are so on top of things, one of them is emailing me about next cycle! They win!

*it's 70º here.

*I need to get off the computer and on the road.

traveling girl

(with apologies to GS for sort of stealing her title)

Ask me about my Thanksgiving plans. Go ahead, ask.

Since you're dying to know, I am going to Boston, to see my very own Blue Rose Girl. Hooray! I'm so 'cited!

Travel's a funny thing, you know. Time was, I hated it. Usually, it involved going to LA, which was fraught with angst for me in sort of lame and stupid ways. Plus - leaving the house? Sucks. But then I had to go away to get my Montessori training, and while that was long and hard (the away from home part, not the work part), it was something of a turning point.

The training center was in Westchester, and because the cafeteria of the college the Montessori folks use was closed on the weekends* I would hop the 4 o'clock train into NYC on Fridays, because a weekend without food is not for me. Note the casual way I throw that phrase around "I would hop the 4 o'clock train into NYC" - ha. It was initially nerve-wracking. But I had a friend who would meet me at Grand Central every Friday afternoon and she gave such clear and simple directions that it all turned out to be easy.

So I spent my weekends that summer in the city, after a lifetime of barely venturing outside my door. Being somewhere unfamiliar was terrifying to me. But this friend, she made sure I knew where I was, all the time. We'd come up out of the subway and she'd stop and grill me. "How would you get back to my house from here?" she'd say "Which train? Which stop?" And soon enough I felt like I could figure out how to get anywhere. She let me treat her home like my home (as did a couple other people that summer - the summer that was so hot one weekend all another friend and I could do was lie around in our underwear watching cooking shows until it got dark) and made sure I knew how to get there. It was almost like not leaving the house. But with better restaurants.

The other You'll Grow To Love Travel circumstance was having a long-distance girlfriend. I pretty much had to get over my dislike for travel if I wanted to "see" her, because she couldn't stay in one place for longer than a minute. (And then, when she did, she broke up with me.)

So here I am today, all excited about going to Boston. Somewhere I've never been! And I'm not freaking out! Just excited!

Okay, I am freaking out a little about driving to DC which I have to do in order to hook up with the girls who are taking me to Boston. Driving in unfamiliar places is the final frontier.



*Ok, so what the fuck was up with that? There were un-air conditioned, 3-story dorms full of sweaty Montessori teachers-to-be and there was no food on the weekends? Even though we had paid some ridiculous amount of money for the board part of room and board? And the cafeteria sucked anyway. Don't try and go live in a dorm for the first time at age 28, F yer I. Oh, and the lack of AC? Usually not a problem for me - I don't have it at home now - but we were on the 3rd floor of this building and it was fucking hot. That summer there was a heat wave and drought up and down the east coast - yeah, *that* summer - that's what I'm talking about here.