Sunday, November 4, 2007

odd, new me

Clearly, my hubris regarding my immune system has caught up with me. I have a cold. A very functional cold, but a cold. Blah.

On the bright side of things, it did give me a very good excuse to lay around all day and reread a book from my childhood, before I pass it on the the oldest cho-boy. Wow, it was good. But sort of tear inducing, which I don't remember from when I read it before - back in the day, let's say, oh, 1986? I don't mean it was hankie-wringing (that's because of my cold), but just slightly snifly-achey-behind-the-eyes. I seem to do that a lot these days - get weepy-feeling over things that other folks have always called "moving" when I used to just let them roll off my back. You know, the "touching" parts of movies, thinking over-much about my friends, reading fucking children's books (let's remember that the afore mentioned book is actually a Young Adult book, 'k?), reading about somebody I don't know at all having a baby - they make me tear up. Weird.

It's not in anyway that other folks notice (whew - safe on that front!), but enough for me to notice and go "wtf, starrhillgirl?" Because, really y'all, I'm not a crier. Never really have been. Oh, I'd cry when I got hurt, or was scared when I was little, but generally, I'm not so much with the crying.

But recently - whew - anything can set me off. Is it getting older? More sensitive? Am I rubbed raw from ttc and so everything stings a little more? Who knows? If you know me IRL, you probably wouldn't notice (unless you're around when I realized I've failed yet another cycle - then there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth), but, as I am with myself all the fucking time, I notice. It sure is weird. Has this happened to anyone else?

Meanwhile - the neti pot is going to save my ass from this cold.


jay said...

Same here with the weepiness, coupled with general social withdrawal and occasional snappiness. Maybe it's a TTC thing? Or a 2-year-too-long thing? Or general aging? Isn't it fun?! Not. xx

vee said...

I blub constantly at everything, have done for years. Actually, I find myself holding it in more these days, though the urge strikes more often (pregnant women in the street, cute kids, sad kids, shouty parents etc). I think I'm just getting more and more repressed and hermit-like.

timaree said...

I've definitely gotten more weepy in my thirties--but in a different way. I was always horribly sensitive when I was young, but as I've gotten older, I've gotten, er, sentimental.

I was recently buying a birthday card for my grandmother, and started misting up after reading a particularly sweet card. At that unfortunate moment, a former student of mine saw me and decided to tell me how much she loved my class. She thought I was upset; however, it was really just the card, and I was so embarrassed. I won't be buying greeting cards without my sunglasses now.

Anna Alter said...

hey- children's books can be sad! very very sad! a perfectly good reason to cry. well maybe not. but I do it too.

Hard Girl said...

I once got all misty-eyed because a tall stranger reached me something from a tall shelf in the grocery store. I get this thing sometimes where I just love everyone and have such appreciation for small communications and kind gestures in the world. The night I saw The Sweet Hereafter by myself in a movie theater, I came out with such boundless love for all humanity that I wanted to either hug people on the street or sit down on the sidewalk and cry. And yet, when I take a survey on Asperger tendencies, I realize that I often don't get emotional or sentimental about things I think I should, or that others do.

The teary thing seems to happen more when I'm tired or frustrated with all the selfishness and bad citizenship around me, and then one nice thing happens, or a friend comes through. And yes, more as I get older.

starrhillgirl said...

Whew. It's not just me.

Brooke said...

i am the weepiest but don't know if it is a new thing or an old thing. i think it's good to be weepy but that's probably because i am a glutton for sensation.